You have taken a lot from me. I work with a body that has malfunctioning wires.
Walking used to be automatic. I learned it all as a toddler. Back then I had my parents to cheer me on. "You can do it Bits!" As a toddler learning to walk, I just had to put that little foot in front. I stumbled. I was wobbly but that's ok because I was so small and didn't hit hard when I fell. Each time I just had to plant my little hands down on the ground, feel the connection to the floor, push off, stand up, and they are still cheering me on to take that next step. Everyone was so excited.
Well, I am not a toddler anymore and it's not so cute when I fall. It just looks sad. That is what I have had to come to grips with. That I look so sad when I stumble, that people will feel sorry for me, that I will cause people to pity me. I'm taller now, and the distance makes an impact on my body. I get bruised.
But you know what MS? Now my kids cheer me on. "You can do it Mom, you can get up, let me help you!" Put the hands down feel the contact with the floor. Push myself back up. Maybe I have to rest on the floor for 10 minutes first—but I can get up again!
It has taken me 15 years to get in a comfortable place with you. And every time I feel comfortable you throw a new symptom in, some new numbness, more trouble with my gait, spasms.
But I will continue to adjust.
It doesn't matter how many times you knock me down, because I will get back up.
My family and friends aren't just cheering me on—they're fighting with me.
MS, the world is changing and YOU, you are losing your power. You have been used to taking hope away from people. Now you are confronted with an uprising. We are fighters, we are warriors. We have had enough!
You have taken a lot away, but my connections are giving me more than you can take. I will fight to be victorious. I will fight to shrink you to the shadows.